Wow how things have changed...

so i was reading the past blog and realized what a bright and shiney new grad i sounded like. Fast forward almost three yrs add a dash of reality, a pinch of cynicism, and a spoonful of responsibility and then you pretty much have where i am. For the past two and 1/2 years I have been working my way up through the field of geriatrics to mangmt and for a yr was a director in my field. It was way cool, way way huge work load. Long story short my job and I have recently decided to take different paths. I haven't decided what that new path will be yet....but i'm here. 

Omy...In 6months i am going to be 26 and i am officially freaking out! Why, you may ask? I'll tell you, I am going to be an old lady and I have no sig other, no kids (which is a good thing without the first thing...lol...) and now no job. I do own a home which is amazing, until the next bill comes. And I have a puppy and she is cuter than life. So my issues arent all that horrible, I just can't believe I am getting this old, without accomplishing other things. Its insane! But i don't really have any idea what i would be doing differently in my life right now. I guess i need to grab life by the horns and do something...but as far as the job thing I am now as seemingly lost as i was when i graduated. I don't know. I am talking in riddles and life is soo not as bad as i am making it seem. I am just in a whiney mood. well I need to get home and give my puppy a bath. (Oh yeah no internet in my home....nice) LOL

I will post more later, for now this is me....I'm just not really sure what to do with it. 

Wow, a bunch has changed since my last entry...let me fill you in....

First the babysitting thing didn't work out for a number of reasons, but the most important is that the kis made me miss class because he wouldn't get dressed or get in my car or any type of cooperation. I had to call his mom, and he wouldn't talk to her...so I had to wait for her to come back from work, which caused me to miss my class...SO needless to say I resigned. Yay for not having to get up so early, boo for things not working out....

Next, Practicum is going so much better than it has all year...I'm more involved in the after school program, and today I actually did some case managment ( I felt like I was a real social worker for a while, lol) Sometimes I still feel like this place is so big and so much is going on that its swallowing me up! But other than that things here are great!

RA stuff is going pretty good. I was really concerned earlier b/c I felt like I hadn't done enough to involve my girls, but I have a lot planned for the next few weeks, so things should be coming into its own.

In other news, I am so flipping excited for Spring Break. I am going home, which isn't exciting in itslef, but I get to relax, and hang out with friends that I never get to see anymore. I'm also going to be applying for jobs adn finishing apps for grad schools....we'll see where God takes me!
Speaking of God, I just need to share...on Wednesday I was feeling really down...I've been feeling that way for awhile, and basically I've been arguing with God. On Wed. I was on my way to practicum, and my radio wasn't working right...so I angrily turned it off and started yelling at God. Well soon that turned to crying out to Him and to make a looong story short we worked alot of things out, adn I admited alot of stuff that He already knew, but that He wanted me to share. SO anyway we had a long talk and I fianlly gave in. Which sounds really lame on here in words, but it was such an amazing moment. And I totally am looking at my life in a completely different light right now. I'm just so thankful for a God that wouldn't give up on me!

Ok I have to go, I'm at Practicum right now, and the kids just got here....woot!! lol Have a great weekend guys!!

Nessa

wow, It is amazing to me how many changes one can add to life in a matter of hours! I am sitting here and I might have two new oportunitues to make a little extra cash. I have to change around my schedule a little bit, but thats ok. I need to learn how to make the best of rough situations. Too often in life, if I get struck with a situation that I don't like or that I don't want to deal with or do, I just quit or try and and find a way out of it. I get this stubborn "I don't want to" attitude and let me tell ya, its ruining me!! I need to get over myself sometimes and just get on with life!!

Jess Cameron cut my hair friday, and let me tell ya it feels great! I love it! She did a really good job! I highly recomend her!

 I went to the library today and got a few movies, I love checking out movies from the library, its free and sometimes they have a decent selection.One of the ones I got was The Island. GREAT movie! It was so good! Oh adn yesterday I met my parents to get my car back ( she was sick, so I had to drive my mom's jeep to practicum) and we went to see Deja Vu. That was a really good movie too!! It was not what I was expecting at all!! But it was really good!

It cracks me up that no one really uses xanga anymore. Kinda sad, considering how much people used it my freshman year. I wonder if that will happen to myspace, something better will come along and no one will use it either...hmmm who knows...

So this has been an incredibly random post! I'm really all over the place tonight. Must be because I'm so tired...I just can't seem to focus my thoughts on one thing for very long...so I guess I'll call it a night!!!

Sweet Dreams!!  

So Jenny is getting married and leaving me on Sat. I am really happy that she is getting married, but I'm also really sad. She's moving, and so I won't be able to call her up and say hey, lets hang out, or I can't call and vent for hours about life cuz she'll be busy with her own life...it sux!! Its like high school all over again when everyone graduated and left me in the youth group...ok ok I know i'm being petty and selfish, but oh well...there are just some changes that I am not a fan of...and who said I have to be happy with every change I experience?!?!? So many of my friends are either engaged or getting married or married and it sux, cuz I can't do a whole lot of stuff with them anymore, cuz before even though I was hanging out with couples I was never exactly the third wheel...but after they get engaged/married it changes somehow, I can't put my finger on it but it does...its different. 10 friends, 10 friendships are no longer the same. Its crazy!! And the thign I hate the most is that I look at these relationships, and I get a little bit wistful. Because while my friendship is changing with these people, their relationship with their significant other is changing as well...(for the better usually) and in most cases my friends, find their best friend. And the part of me that gets a little wistful, is the part of me that longs to find my ultimate best friend. I mean don't get me wrong, my relationship with Jesus is crazy important to me, and I know I just need to trust Him to be everything I need, but it gets hard sometimes....especially during these times....oh well, this is sooooo not the end of the world, and I know God has so much in store for me, I just need to trust Him and allow Him to lead me to my future, and allow Him to guide me to and through my future. ok well I'm heading to bed...night all!!

Nessa